Open letter to Scarlett Johannson

Dear Scarlett,

Sorry for missing your calls, and thank you for calling to urge me to vote for Barack Obama. Your message was very insightful, both times you left it. I am not sure how you got my number, but clearly we have a mutual friend who thought we might see eye-to-eye on this one. I actually did vote for Mr. Obama, and I would love to discuss him with you. I tried calling the Obama campaign to get your number, but they refused and have since blocked my calls. Leave your number next time!