Oh my God! Two posts in one day? Are you dreaming? Pinch yourself. Right now, do it. Nope, you're awake. The Ninjaneer must be on a crack high.
I couldn't resist passing this on. One of my favorite rant subjects, CNN.com, just did something so beautifully asinine I'm actually gleeful. Seriously, I'm grinning like an idiot with the potential for ridicule. Where to begin?
As you may have noticed over the course of forever, CNN.com's science reporting has always been the equivalent of a five-year-old watching 30 minutes of Discovery Channel and then explaining what it was about. They catch some key phrases and the general gist, but usually butcher the details or leave them out altogether.
Well -- No more! That's right, CNN.com will never again post another horribly inept science article, because as you can read here, they're SHUTTING DOWN their entire Space, Science and Tech section!
Can you imagine the conversation in the board room? No? Allow me to help:
CNN.com President: How are things in Science and Tech?
CNN.com Sci/Tech Editor: Der, gahhhhhhhhhhhhh-thppt.
President: What?
Features Editor: Sorry, sir, he was, like, totally leaning against the stairwell door this morning trying to clean his ears with, you know, those scissors he's always running around with, and--
President: Yeah, Okay. Anyone know how things are in Science and Tech?
Opinions Editor: Sir, Science and Tech has never received a single complimentary Letter to the Editor, and this chart shows our customer feedback ranks it the worst Science writing since--
President: Is that chart in crayon? What happened to those laser printers we ordered?
Opinions Editor: The...Oh. We thought those were really big, slow laser toasters.
President: Okay, we need to seriously improve Science and Tech. Suggestions?
Features Editor: Could we, like, get a new geek? Who, like, knows about light bulbs and fancy gizmos and stuff?
Opinions Editor: We should get a robot to do it. I bet the Apple Store has something.
Sci/Tech Editor: Blub-blub-blub-blub motorBOAT!
President: Ugh. Never mind, lets just shut it down, fill the Science office up with sand, and get some Tonka Trucks in there or something.
Everyone: Yay! A sandbox!
I'll miss you, CNN Science section.
Showing posts with label media. Show all posts
Showing posts with label media. Show all posts
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Lost a Great, but we get one back
At the time of his death, Tim Russert was my favorite journalist on television, to the point that I actually had Meet the Press on my DVR. Yep, I'm a dork. Anyway, with Russert's death, I was pretty much looking at the anchors on the major networks...and not liking any of them.
But hey! It's not all bad. It turns out that Aaron Brown, former anchor at CNN until about two or three years ago, returns to television journalism tonight. For those of you who knew me when CNN fired Brown and replaced him with Anderson Cooper (for the following reasons, in this order: 1) Cooper looked cool standing around pointing at Katrina damage and looking solemn, 2) Cooper makes women and gay men feel happy in their pants, 3) Brown steadfastly refused to take part in the rest of CNN's slide down into pseudo-news and empty-headed journalism, 4) Cooper didn't, and 5) low ratings), I was pretty ridiculously outraged for about two weeks. Once again, I'm a dork.
Anyway, Brown is back as the anchor of PBS's weekly show "Wide Angle," which is not so much a weekly summary of news as it is an in-depth look at one international issue each week. For example, it looks like this week is all about Darfur. Anyway, I like this guy, so I'm donating my modest advertising skills to his cause.
I think Wide Angle is on Tuesdays at 9pm on PBS, but really, your DVR could tell you better than I could.
But hey! It's not all bad. It turns out that Aaron Brown, former anchor at CNN until about two or three years ago, returns to television journalism tonight. For those of you who knew me when CNN fired Brown and replaced him with Anderson Cooper (for the following reasons, in this order: 1) Cooper looked cool standing around pointing at Katrina damage and looking solemn, 2) Cooper makes women and gay men feel happy in their pants, 3) Brown steadfastly refused to take part in the rest of CNN's slide down into pseudo-news and empty-headed journalism, 4) Cooper didn't, and 5) low ratings), I was pretty ridiculously outraged for about two weeks. Once again, I'm a dork.
Anyway, Brown is back as the anchor of PBS's weekly show "Wide Angle," which is not so much a weekly summary of news as it is an in-depth look at one international issue each week. For example, it looks like this week is all about Darfur. Anyway, I like this guy, so I'm donating my modest advertising skills to his cause.
I think Wide Angle is on Tuesdays at 9pm on PBS, but really, your DVR could tell you better than I could.
Monday, April 21, 2008
CNN.com now offers T-Shirts of their crappiest headlines!
Just when you thought CNN.com's lead headlines couldn't slide any further toward Entertainment / Offbeat News hell...they found a way.
The headlines at the top of CNN.com (to the right of the main story with the picture) previously were called "Top Stories," but recently changed to "Latest News." This was probably because so many people questioned whether stories about Britney Spears could really be called Top Stories, and as we all know, when faced with a decision between improving content or renaming content, CNN always choses renaming.
Anyway, you can now click a T-Shirt icon next to the wackiest CNN headlines and be redirected to a page where you can order a T-Shirt with that same wacky headline! And below the headline, they'll print "I just saw it on CNN.com" along with the date and timestamp!
Act now, you can get the following headlines on a T-Shirt RIGHT NOW for only $15, plus 4.99 shipping:
"Waste food dished up to hungry diners" link
"Prince drops copter in gal pal's yard" link
"Weird fish leave sea, spawn on beach" link
I hate you, CNN. I fucking hate you.
The headlines at the top of CNN.com (to the right of the main story with the picture) previously were called "Top Stories," but recently changed to "Latest News." This was probably because so many people questioned whether stories about Britney Spears could really be called Top Stories, and as we all know, when faced with a decision between improving content or renaming content, CNN always choses renaming.
Anyway, you can now click a T-Shirt icon next to the wackiest CNN headlines and be redirected to a page where you can order a T-Shirt with that same wacky headline! And below the headline, they'll print "I just saw it on CNN.com" along with the date and timestamp!
Act now, you can get the following headlines on a T-Shirt RIGHT NOW for only $15, plus 4.99 shipping:
"Waste food dished up to hungry diners" link
"Prince drops copter in gal pal's yard" link
"Weird fish leave sea, spawn on beach" link
I hate you, CNN. I fucking hate you.
Saturday, February 16, 2008
"It was unclear how close the satellite will be to the space station when it is shot down"
Sometimes, the media reports on science topics very well. Other times, it assigns a complete idiot to the science story, and hilarity ensues.
A shining example of the latter (from an AP reporter, posted on CNN): http://www.cnn.com/2008/TECH/space/02/16/shuttle.ap/index.html
The gist: There's a damaged spy satellite that the Pentagon wants to shoot down, right? The satellite is in Space, in this place called Orbit. It occurred to an intrepid AP reporter that there's something else up there in Space, and also located in Orbit...the International Space Station! Oh no, thought this reporter. What if the Pentagon misses with their missile and hits the International Space Station instead?!? Oh the humanity! I need to break this story!
So the reporter dutifully asked NASA and the astronauts currently on-board the station if they were concerned about being accidently shot down by the Pentagon. To which they responded, because they're not complete idiots, "Um, no. We are not worried."
A shining example of the latter (from an AP reporter, posted on CNN): http://www.cnn.com/2008/TECH/space/02/16/shuttle.ap/index.html
The gist: There's a damaged spy satellite that the Pentagon wants to shoot down, right? The satellite is in Space, in this place called Orbit. It occurred to an intrepid AP reporter that there's something else up there in Space, and also located in Orbit...the International Space Station! Oh no, thought this reporter. What if the Pentagon misses with their missile and hits the International Space Station instead?!? Oh the humanity! I need to break this story!
So the reporter dutifully asked NASA and the astronauts currently on-board the station if they were concerned about being accidently shot down by the Pentagon. To which they responded, because they're not complete idiots, "Um, no. We are not worried."
Friday, February 8, 2008
How'd Heath Ledger get all those drugs? Umm....
Gotta say, I'm rolling my eyes at the "How did Heath Ledger get all those prescriptions" question that the national media and, apparently, the DEA are asking. Why? Well, I have three of the five in my medicine cabinet right now, accumulated over the course of a year, and I'm a reasonably healthy guy:
1) Hydrocodone - sprained ankle, never actually took one, still in the cabinet
2) Xanax - Needed after a 5-day Vegas bender to be capable of sleeping through the ensuing withdrawl and catch-up work stress. Took it just one night, still in the cabinet
3) Ambien - Recent insomnia episode
Obviously, Ledger royally fucked up by taking them simultaneously, and why the hell he would do that is a valid question. But as far as how he got all those drugs in the first place? I'm guessing he had a series of incidents like mine and simply asked his doc to prescribe something. That shit accumulates, and its not like you need to venture to the bad part of town at 2am to get them. Or maybe his doctor belongs in prison, we'll see.
1) Hydrocodone - sprained ankle, never actually took one, still in the cabinet
2) Xanax - Needed after a 5-day Vegas bender to be capable of sleeping through the ensuing withdrawl and catch-up work stress. Took it just one night, still in the cabinet
3) Ambien - Recent insomnia episode
Obviously, Ledger royally fucked up by taking them simultaneously, and why the hell he would do that is a valid question. But as far as how he got all those drugs in the first place? I'm guessing he had a series of incidents like mine and simply asked his doc to prescribe something. That shit accumulates, and its not like you need to venture to the bad part of town at 2am to get them. Or maybe his doctor belongs in prison, we'll see.
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